The Tortoise and the Sloth

After joining the sloth company, the tortoise made a point of showing up promptly at 8:30 every morning, and he usually found some excuse to send an e-mail soon after he got in. This didn't even earn him scorn from the sloths, only pity, when they read his missive after strolling in at noon-ish. Even his wife was unsupportive, as he set his alarm for 4:00 AM. "We're just so freaking slow," she said, "maybe being a bit late every once in a while wouldn't be such a bad thing?"